I’ve never seen a human being consume as much coffee as Currado Malaspina. His breath always has an unfortunate staleness to it. This is lamentable because Currado is an irresistible raconteur who speaks eloquently and in complete and colorful sentences. One must always keep a respectful distance from him, otherwise that stale, overcooked aroma will prove too distracting. But, under the right conditions, time spent with him is a unique and authentic experience and should not be avoided.
So, as a public service I’d like to advise any interested party on how best to conduct an audience with Currado Malaspina, one of the great minds of our century.
1. Try to remain outdoors. Although Currado rarely spends time outdoors, he does walk to both Metro stations and bus stops. Bus stops are more favorable because one can have a reasonably fruitful discussion in the time it takes for a bus…
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